Stool Watching

I’m doing a lot of peeking between my legs to see what’s goin on the toilet bowl these days… ugh! I guess last week when I was in the hospital and the doctor on call was asking me the usual admittance questions (or what I call the – think I would’a mentioned it questions) like are you coughing up blood, can you feel your extremities, any anal leakage etc… she was very specific on one question. She asked if my stool was black, I said “no” but in truth I hadn’t looked; and she replied “oh that’s good, but if it goes black you let somebody know” very sincerely.

So I’ve been on a black stool watch. I don’t really know why, or what the significance of black poop might mean, but hell if it was important to her, it’s important to me.

The problem is, I’m a decorator… who specializes in colour theory; and I think I may be over analyzing my poop. She didn’t say what shade of black. Anyone who knows anything about colour knows that black has many different undertones, and that colour is affected by light perception. What if the poop is black, but the soft lighting in my bathroom casts it as more of a brown? You can see my dilemma… thank god my schedule affords me time to ponder this.

For now I will stick with nope, and take oh so much pride in the fact that I’ve found an exercise that really challenges my skills as a colour consultant even in my absence from work. Op… gotta go…