There are some things you don’t think about when you accept help in personal areas of your life, like the porn in your closet. It’s been there for years, I mean it’s VHS… who owns a video box thingy anymore? (I can’t even think of the name of it, it’s been so long.)
I was done with it a long time ago, how many times can you watch the same people over and over before you start wishing they’d get some new moves. Perhaps old porn is like tired marriage; you are so done with it but can’t find a way to end the relationship (get rid of it) discreetly so you hang on longer than you should.
So here I am 20 minutes away from my mother and her best-friend coming over to help pack up my bedroom to move, running around the house with a black plastic bag of shame. (Thank god I’m not Catholic, Id be a wreck by now bumping around the house thinking my sight is going.)
I can’t think of a good place to stash it. I can’t put it in the garbage, if it was that easy I would have done it long ago; what if a roommate finds it? Can’t keep it in the room were working on, nor the bathroom what if they run out of tp, reach under the counter and surprise! The fridge and the freezer are out… I don’t know, yes I seriously but momentarily thought those would be good hiding spots?
Panic, panic, it wasn’t even that good of a movie, panic, panic…. I know, hide it with the pot. At least if it gets found I’ll be more than a mere pervert, I’ll be a sex-addicted junkie. No such thing as a petty crime for me!
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