Going Feral.

I haven’t got much of a reason to leave the house today, so I’ve been circling it like caged animal. My responsibilities and abilities are so minimal these days there’s not much to do; not much I want to do or much I can do. I thought about getting dressed and going out to the mall but it seems like a lot of effort for nothing, as I’m out of spending cash and what’s the point of painting on my eyebrows when I’m just going to wipe em off again.

This is perhaps how depression starts. Why get out of my pajamas when I’m just going to get back in them having done nothing in-between, might as well stay in them. It’s hard to keep track of day and night when you have no routine beyond the recognition that Oprah signifies that transfer between daytime and evening television at 4pm.

However it is amazing how fast time flies pissing it away, Tuesday was lucky number 13 (out of 16) rounds of chemo finished. I am the last patient booked each Tuesday, so the place is empty when we are done and the nurse ends her shift to go for dinner when I finish. Unfortunately for her I have an uncanny knack of waiting till the end of my rounds to be sick which makes the nurses stay late and Mum terrified that she'll have to drive home with me, head in a bag. Although she much cooler about it since we started driving my car to and from.

So it was a tough time when I got home and crackers for dinner. But it didn't last long; thankfully I got a new prescription to help me sleep... I think it must be anesthesia in pill form because I barely remember taking it and woke up quite refreshed the morning after - organs intact.