Low Key Last Chemo

I just said goodbye to my WeCare nurse; it’s hard to believe that I may never see her again. No matter how bad I felt on any particular day I always looked forward to having her visit weekly while she flushed my picc line. I guess that’s the mark of a good nurse when you see them as someone who comes to visit you not just take care of you.

I had my last scheduled chemo treatment yesterday. It went down without incident but not really as planned. Everyone kept telling me that this should be an occasion for celebration so I tried to put something’s together for my last trip to medical daycare but no one really seemed interested in helping. I guess it’s like your birthday when people say “it’s your birthday, when are you planning your party?” “I don’t know, when you planning my party – I’m the one with the birthday!”

Ya so in-between all the commotion over the week-end I baked 2 dozen cookies, decorated them, shopped for a cookie tin, a card and then tried to put the whole thing together Tuesday morning in-time for chemo. It wasn’t really coming together in-time, I was late to chemo and neither my mother or I brought a camera so I was feeling very frustrated and disgruntled at the fact that if this is supposed to be a celebration for everyone over my accomplishment, that everyone pushed me into celebrating; why am I the one that had to do all the work?

As it turned out none of my usual nurses where there, it wasn’t the usual chemo crowd, there was no pictures, no cookies, no onslaught of well wishes (and no balloons or strippers – a girl can hope!) rather the last chemo visit just passed quietly - done and gone. Sometimes big moments on the inside aren’t that big on the outside, and I'm okay with that.