Side Effects, Direct Effects… Cure Effects?

This past week it’s been all out about the side effects, which really in the grand scheme of things are not that bad.

I noticed yesterday that the itching behind my knees had stopped and that I have been able to drink more and more on my own again. The itching started up again over the Fall and I just knew that the cancer was active and that the next CAT would show growth; it’s always been my key symptom. Wonder what this means?

Itchy legs all night has been replaced with hot flashes. I have had them in the past from the lymphoma and a drug called Lupron that I take, but WOW are they back!!! It’s a burning heat that radiates from within that makes me want to chug a slushy and shove a Popsicle up my ass – anything to cool the insides of me down!

After chemo brushing my teeth is a miserable experience for days because the toothpaste tastes disgusting to me. I mentioned this to my Aunt and she was like switch the flavor – duh! I switched from mint to cinnamon OMG I can’t tell you how stupid I feel. All last year during chemo I would dread the days every two weeks when toothpaste made me gag twice a day, but never once did I think about switching the flavor. This is why one needs caregivers, you’re too stupid to help yourself sometimes!

I let my bowels get dried up again just like last time and have really hurt myself when eventually I did go. As the nurse put it, like passing a concrete brick – ouch! I'm taking a spoon full of aloevera juice every morning now that is sure to make things softer, but the damage is done. No one knows that this is the most common hidden ailment for people on chemo; everyone thinks it’s the puking – nope other end!

This blast of chemo really dried me up inside and out; and I'm used to combating chemo skin with an arsenal of expensive oils and creams, but I still peeled. My face has been peeling all week, especially around the eyes, which makes it impossible to put cover up on. It’s not like after a sunburn, more like the delicate surface of a fish when you touch it and scales rub off – really gross!

If anyone has anything to say about it I won’t know, I can’t hear them. A ringing started in my ears a week ago that wont let up. Sometimes it’s ringing other times it’s white noise (like static), either way it’s consistent. It’s starting to wear me down and makes every task harder when your head is a jumble of sound.

I lay around allot. Just waking up and getting breakfast feels like a marathon most mornings. And I have to remember to rise slowly to let my blood pressure catch up. It’s still very low and I have daily “faint” episodes that keep me horizontal. It’s getting better the more I drink on my own.

Cancer now has very little effect on my body, it’s the cure that’s affecting me terribly!