E, A, M - Stands for "Eating" "Agitated" & "Mean"

I never did get an appointment prior to this chemo, so there have been many unexpected’s and figuring stuff out along the way; however just like the last big round – things went very well!

On my first day (of 5 days) of E,A,M I learned that one of the chemo’s was to be slowly infused into my body over the course of 4 days, so I would be leaving with a tube the size of a baby bottle attached to me. Surprise! Whatever, no big deal, I'm really so desensitized to the treatments and gadgets I require these days that you could install a port into the middle of my forehead and Id be like “whatever get’s the job done”. For better or worse I'm committed at this point – let’s do this shit!

I did not have any side effects early on in my treatment, so I tried very hard to down as much liquids as possible before I lost my taste buds or ability to consume liquids as has been my deal in the past when everything tastes metallic. Hydration is the key to weathering chemo effects!!!

Towards the end of my 5 days and for a few days after the side effects that really became apparent were all from a steroid called Decadron that I was taking for nausea. I became very aggressive, antsy and starving.

I had allot of nervous energy at night and started knitting again just to keep my hands busy. Between shows and each commercial I’d jump up to get things done around the house, on the computer or forge for my “6th” meal of the day.

Food became so unsatisfying because I couldn’t taste very much, so I ate more, and then I ate spicy, and then I paid for it with the worst heartburn I have ever had. It spanned days until I got some serious ‘not off the shelf’ drugs to help; so I can’t really believe it was just the Indian foods fault, and not another side effect.

The aggressive part was the worst because I knew I was being mean or that my irritability was not real, but I just couldn’t help myself. And I think everyone in the car learned their lesson ‘that day’ about not getting off the highway at “the next exit” when Tam needed some food, peanuts, a stick of gum, “anything” when I announced that I needed to eat “now” without notice! Mum agreed it was all from the steroids and was mildly sympathetic; good thing because most of my annoyance was directed at her!

I know from past chemo’s that there are two stages of side effects you need to get through. The first is during chemo. Your body is shocked by the drugs and you need to fight nausea, fatigue and immediate drug side effects. Then about 8-12 days later you start to feel the effects of the drugs on your body at a cellular level, so your counts go down, you watch for fever and infection, and the real lethargy sets in.

So I'm counting down the days post chemo to see what the effects will be(?) It will likely be a series of unexpected’s and figuring stuff out along the way; however I kind of like not knowing. Like I said, I'm committed at this point – let’s do this shit!