Live Your Truth, the State I’m In & Good Things:

I realize my blogs are a lot of bitch right now, but I firmly believe you gotta live your truth. And my written truth is always the state I’m in! I’ve noticed there are a lot of bloggers who only write when they have something good or uplifting to share about cancer and their experiences. Ill notice a gap in their writing and then a comeback note that says “sorry I didn’t write for so long, I was feeling really down”; I think this is a real injustice to others.

It’s clear that many have a shared experience of feeling down, angry or lost for a period of time during this process, but many are reluctant to share it. I don’t need a dirty laundry list, but if there’s someone else out there who’s going through this process who wants to share – share! Share the good and the bad, that’s the biggest service you can do for another “patient”. No one wants to be alone in this experience, especially in there problems.

However in the last few months I have neglected to post my “good things”…so…

The one thing (or being) that always makes me happy is my cat. This little old man is especially happy to have me back in my parent’s home at his beck and call. He loves the day after chemo because he gets to stay in bed all day and cuddle, and I love the company! At 15 he is starting to experience some health problems so I’m just so happy to be near him during this time. Pets are such a comfort and a wealth of unconditional love… a sick person must have!

Over the past month I have taken over the household cooking and am learning to prepare all these meals from my clean eating and cancer-free cookbooks. I used to own take-out menus, not cookbooks! Early on I learned that a clove of garlic was one of the pieces inside the bulb, not the bulb. In the end the stew with several bulbs of garlic in it (instead of cloves) tasted pretty good, but our house stunk, our clothes stunk, my car stunk, my mittens stunk, and the cat stunk like garlic for 2 weeks! Nobody liked the almond cookies (aka. dog biscuits) I made, but man am I having fun… I learned how to use a Cuisinart!

So throughout this experience I have not found god, it hasn’t brought me closer to my family (thus far), I haven’t bought into the “everything happens for a reason” inner peace shit and I have chronic moments of ungratefulness, wounded vanity and all out bitching. When I’m done with that I pet the cat, try to kill my family with my cooking and blog about the state I’m in!